Thursday, April 2, 2009

Groovy Gangsta Heroes

Tanuki Coon Dog Central
"Starvation is cheap," he says as he prepares an afternoon lunch of barbecue coon and red pop at his west side home.

His little Cape Cod is an urban Appalachia of coon dogs and funny smells. The interior paint has the faded sepia tones of an old man's teeth; the wallpaper is as flaky and dry as an old woman's hand.

Beasley peers out his living room window. A sushi cooking show plays on the television. The neighborhood outside is a wreck of ruined houses and weedy lots.

"Today people got no skill and things is getting worse," he laments. "What people gonna do? They gonna eat each other up is what they gonna do."

A licensed hunter and furrier, Beasley says he hunts coons and rabbit and squirrel for a clientele who hail mainly from the South, where the wild critters are considered something of a delicacy.

Though the flesh is not USDA inspected, if it is thoroughly cooked, there is small chance of contracting rabies from the meat, and distemper and Parvo cannot be passed onto humans, experts say.

Doing for yourself, eating what's natural, that was Creation's intention, Beasley believes. He says he learned that growing up in Three Creeks, Ark.

"Coon or rabbit. God put them there to eat. When men get hold of animals he blows them up and then he blows up. Fill 'em so full of chemicals and steroids it ruins the people. It makes them sick. Like the pigs on the farm. They's 3 months old and weighing 400 pounds. They's all blowed up. And the chil'ren who eat it, they's all blowed up. Don't make no sense."

Hunting is prohibited within Detroit city limits and Beasley insists he does not do so. Still, he says that life in the city has gone so retrograde that he could easily feed himself with the wildlife in his backyard, which abuts an old cement factory.

He procures the coons with the help of the hound dogs who chase the animal up a tree, where Beasley harvests them with a .22 caliber rifle. A true outdoorsman, Beasley refuses to disclose his hunting grounds.

"This city is going back to the wild," he says. "That's bad for people but that's good for me. I can catch wild rabbit and pheasant and coon in my backyard."

Detroit was once home to nearly 2 million people but has shrunk to a population of perhaps less than 900,000. It is estimated that a city the size of San Francisco could fit neatly within its empty lots. As nature abhors a vacuum, wildlife has moved in.

A beaver was spotted recently in the Detroit River. Wild fox skulk the 15th hole at the Palmer Park golf course. There is bald eagle, hawk and falcon that roam the city skies. Wild Turkeys roam the grasses. A coyote was snared two years ago roaming the Federal Court House downtown. And Beasley keeps a gaze of skinned coon in the freezer.

Thursday's shall be Beasley Urban Heroes days - if I can find enough of them.


Coon in the Eye said...

Mursting the Groovy Gangsta Heroes with a slight change in the recipe: Soak it in very strong vodka.

Kitchen/Flowy(V) said...

White Squirrel Gravy

4 squirrels Water
Salt and pepper, to taste Flour
½ stick butter Hot biscuits

Cut each squirrel into four pieces. Place in heavy pot. Add enough water to cover squirrels well. Add salt and pepper. Boil slowly until squirrels are tender. Remove all pieces of squirrel from stock. Roll each piece heavily in flour; gently drop back into boiling stock. Add the butter and cook slowly until stock has thickened to gravy. Serve over hot biscuits.

{{{{Some say it's heavenly... }}}}

April/Flowy/Bring/May/Mowy(V) said...

Pre-work blingee dive...

Roast Beaver Flowy said...

Roast Beaver

Mmm, mmm good!

1 md Beaver, about 8 lbs
1/2 c Vinegar
1 tb Salt
2 ts Soda
1 md Onion; sliced
4 Strips bacon or salt pork
1/2 ts Salt
1/4 ts Pepper

Wash beaver thoroughly with salt water then let soak overnight in enough cold water to cover. Add 1/2 cup vinegar and 1 tb salt to the water.

The next day, remove the beaver from the brine, wash and cover with a solution of 2 ts soda to 2 quarts water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes.

Drain, then place beaver in roasting pan. Cover with sliced onions and bacon; season with salt and pepper. Place lid on roaster and bake at 375 until tender. Serve with a tart jelly.

Roasted 'possum and Sweet Potatoes said...

1 Opossum (2 -2 1/2 lbs.)
Apple and raisin stuffing (use commercial stuffing mix with 1 c. apples and 1/2 c. raisins added)
1/4 To 1/3 c. flour
3 4 sweet potatoes
2 tb Brown sugar
2 c Stock
Butter (if opossum is lean)

Rub inside of dressed opossum with seasonings; fill with stuffing. Truss, season, and place on greased rack in shallow pan. If lean, brush with a little butter and cover with cloth dipped in melted butter, or cover loosely with aluminum foil. Roast, uncovered, in 325 degree oven for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, allowing 30-35 minutes per pound. Remove cloth the last half-hour and place parboiled sweet potatoes (peeled and halved) around opossum. Baste all several times with drippings in pan, dusting meat with flour and potatoes with brown sugar after each basting.

Barbequed Coon said...

1 each raccoon
1 bunch celery
3 cloves garlic chopped
2 large red onions quartered
1 large apple quartered
3 each red chili peppers hot
1 cup vinegar
3 tablespoons salt

Have someone who is experienced remove the glands as well as the skin.

Pull celery apart and wash. Place all ingredients in pot with enough water to cover raccoon. Bring to slow boil and cook until tender or until fork goes in easily, about 1-2 hours depending upon size of raccoon.

Remove meat from pot, cut off front and back legs; cut remainder into four pieces.

Place on rack, brush with your favorite barbeque sauce. Place in 400 deg. oven; turn and baste frequently with barbecue sauce until a golden brown, 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Serves 6.

Picnic/Flowy(V) said...

OMG... I'd gettin hungre...

What I'm watching....

Anonymous said...

Urban survival, so few know the basics.

Picnic/Flowy(V) said... said...

kuato kuato kuato man...