Snowflakes and Crap

Snowflake via PICDIT

Craigslist Men Seeking Women:
To the woman that crapped in my car… (NE Portland)
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…

Original post quoted above was reposted here after being taken down.
via BuzzFeed

Bella sings for you.

Pissed Off Geisha

bathing in gasoline

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE!
How can this Bikini Machines girl look so miserable yet have a perfectly clean fireplace? WTF? I have a mountain of ash everywhere that I would photo and post if it weren't for concern that some typical Marinite would sue me for it (wasted so much time on stupid trials in jury duty around here). It is a well managed pile of ash that does not represent a risk to the special enlightened people of Marin.
BTW. don't forget to check out Katrin and Nadine over at Nuclear Tentacles!

Sister Suvi - "Longlegs"
Blogger ate my post update while I was distracted, but Wagga sent me a linky to this groovy site for depressed, Aspergers, IT cases who need a plan. Hopefully, they'll keep it updated...


Flowing Heat has some tentacular, tanuclear bathing in gasoline with geisha and tentacles finds such as...




Yes, I am well aware that the above relates to Japan and the below relates to Bowie/China. I miss my friend from Japan who would drag me to aging Bowie concerts where he didn't do much, but smoke cigarettes and wheeze. I hope she's doing OK these days.

She thought I looked like Bowie which made me consider a sex change except for my lack of height.