Friday, January 16, 2009

TWEAKING HARD IN A MOTEL ROOM WITH NOAM CHOMSKY

Yay Hooray
Sister Suvi - "Longlegs"

I had put in an inquiry for an interview with Professor Chomsky through an administrative aide in the Linguistics Department at M.I.T. who I "met" while he was auctioning a 1st edition of Come Back, Dr. Caligari on eBay (I lost). I said the interview was to be published in RADAR Magazine, which wasn't true because they had already stiffed me on my last published submission, but I wanted to meet Professor Chomsky badly enough to lie; not that I was too confident it would help much. I had pretty much given up when, weeks later, my phone rang.
'Is this Bachem?' a familiar voice asked.
'It is...'
'This is Noam Chomsky. I'm in Los Angeles and calling to follow up on your interview request. Are you available to meet?'
'Um, yes, of course, absolutely; when and where?'
'Can you get some Tina?'
'Uh, 'tina,' sir?'
'Tina. Christina. Crystal meth.'
'Oh, I didn't-- wow, is that really how the term is derived?'
'Do you want to question etymology with a Professor of Linguistics, or should I go ahead and trace the development of the term 'imbecile' for you?'
'Look, sure, I can probably get some. Can I take you to dinner for the interview proper?'
'Do you think I want to do meth to stimulate my appetite? Let's just get this out of the way: imbecile comes from the French imbécile.'
I took a deep breath, wishing I could start the call over. 'Where would you like to go?'
'I've heard intriguing things about Valley Ball on Roscoe in Studio City.'
'But...that's a strip club.'
He sighed. 'The French imbécile derives from the Latin imbecillus...'
I would come to dread his sighs.
'Where can I pick you up?'
...

Beautiful girls.

Killing Lies one stroke at a time.





Said the Gramophone has such good taste: The Mittenstrings - "Rochester Said".

Succubus



Blackout Beach - "Astoria, Menthol Lite, Hilltop, Wave of Evil 1982"


Octohat

Sister Suvi - "Longlegs"

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Answers without tweaks.

Anonymous said...

Sister Suvi sounds like shit live on YouTube.

Anonymous said...

While I liked the painting in and of itself, I did not like the fact that my X could consider me something along the lines of James Jean's succubus.

Akira said...

I would be happy if I could regularly go to work at my hour of choice in my sushi pajamas and an octopus hat - with my crazy Pomeranians - of course.
Only children have long necks these days? Who knew?
I do find this 80's revival crap amusing.

Anonymous said...

Why am I so f-ing immature?

Anonymous said...

Collecting my Zombie Card for Eggo-stencil liberty and such!
One request to those in control of zombie-hood: I'm fine with the concept, but don't want to end up a Ronald/Nancy Reagan zombie. For sanity's sake, we won't even mention...
Thx!

Anonymous said...

Good morning Akira...

I feel sick...

I was laughing SO hard reading about Bachem and Noam Chomsky in the hotel room with the paid twat...

Linguistic delight, estastic combos and television parts... kill me... wish I'd been there...

Santa Flipper Clause said...

Ho Ho Ho - It's Santa Flipper Clause

"Strange women, lying in pools of water, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government," is from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Arthur is explaining to a peasant named Dennis how he became king by the Lady of the Lake handing him a sword. (In some renditions of King Arthur, he did not pull the sword from a rock but rather it was handed to him by a female residing in a pond.) Dennis is quite skeptical about Arthur's claim, and rebuts him with the above line.

Santa F. Clause

Anonymous said...

Chomsky does Tina? That sounds like a low budget porno flick.

Anonymous said...

Hi Edgar...

One of my favorite things is alliterative numbers...

You wrote about Chomsky doing Tina at 12:12 ... in my simple brain than means magic...

Chomsky Doing Tina should be high budget pornflick... such a rich, rich plot... although I've been trying to think how to do it well and still get an R rating... uhmmmm.

Anonymous said...

Not a pornflick... a Hollywood flick...

Although it would break my heart to water it down it would have to be sissied up some for the mainstream...

Or would that break the heart of the author, Bachem Macuno, you think?

Anonymous said...

Chomsky could talk dirty during the graphic scenes:

Noam: All over the place...
there is constant pressure...
help my endowment and self-fulfillment...
Resistance is feasible while I impose my American hegemony...
The intellectual tradition is one of servility to power...

Ooh baby, yeah, give it to me...

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

I'll tell you what...

That Chomsky dude's talk does it for me...

Dewyflowypanties... oh yeah...

Akubi said...

Hi Guyz,
Even though I didn't drink tea after 3, I couldn't sleep last night and thoroughly overslept today, so I'm behind on everything.
Bachem Macuno is an excellent writer; I hope he/she publishes a novel and doesn’t waste too much energy on Hollywood BS.
When I have a lot of crap to take care of I really have to ignore the intertubz, because I’m so easily distracted online, i.e. ended up wasting time remembering Repo Man on YouTube after the EN car post. I always loved Miller and was thinking about posting in honor of him, but should probably get back to that later..

@Santa,
Thx for stopping by!
Aaah, ok, I've never been a big Monty Python fan, but it has been ongoing background noise in my octotasking so that explains it.

Anonymous said...

Relax!
Itsallgood.