Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Bernanke and Hard-Drinking Shrews


The Annotated Fed


Hat tip to Wagga for this find:
A tropical shrew with a taste for alcoholic nectar has been identified as the hardest-drinking creature in the world.

Pentailed tree shrews have such an appetite for alcohol that each night they imbibe, weight for weight, the equivalent of a human downing up to nine glasses of wine...

Allen Ginsberg poetic redux for WALNUTS via Wonkette comment:
Neilist says at 4:50 pm, July 27th, 2008
- ReplyA SUPERMARKET IN LIMBO
[With Apologies to Allen Ginsberg]

What thoughts we have of you tonight, Oh WALNUTS!, as
you walk down Aisle 6, under the canned goods, with a headache
self-consciously looking at Barack’s news coverage.

In your hurt and spleen, shopping for ANY image, you went
into this neon fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!

What speeches and ellucidations! Whole families
running in fright! Aisles full of apple sauces! Wives who are soccer moms;
your black babies in their arms! — and you, Barry Goldwater, what
were you doing down by the watermelons?

We saw you, WALNUTS!, voteless, lonely old grubber,
poking among the meats in the refrigerator, looking for your favorite mastodon cutlets,
and eyeing the Electorials.

We heard you asking questions of each: Who killed McCain-Feingold?
What price compromise? Are you my next ex-wife?

We wandered in and out of the brilliant stacks of cans
following you, and followed in our imagination by Federal Election Commission detectives.

We strode down the open corridors with you in your solitary fancy,
stroking lobbyists, evangelicals, possessing every K Street dollar, and still your budget was in arrears.

Where are we going, O WALNUTS? The doors close in
November. Which way does Joe Liebermann point you tonight?

(We touch your campaign biography and feel absurd. Did you really
shoot down five of your own planes?)

Will you walk all night through solitary streets? The
voters are gone, John; lights out in the houses: you’ll be
lonely.

Will you stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?

Ah, “Flags Of Our Fathers,” graybeard, lonely old Tokyo Rose-broadcaster,
what America did you have when your Admiral daddy and granddaddy quit poling your ferry,
and you got out on a smoking bank of your first marriage and
stood watching the boat disappear on the black waters of your reputation?

Los Angeles, 2008

[That started out funny, but it took kind of a nasty twist there at the end.]

Out of Time update!

36 comments:

Ogg the Caveman said...

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Ogg the Caveman said...

, loosers!

Ogg the Caveman said...

On movies and TV being excellent contrary indicators: One thing I noticed also was that in the summer of 2005, within almost days of each other you had two shows going onto cable TV, two reality shows. One was called Flip This House. The other one was called Flip That House. And the summer of 2005 was a very dangerous time to start flipping houses.

Casey Serin said...

@ Ogg, from previous post:

Akubi, did you have a hairdo like that in the 80s? What about you, Casey?

Well, you have to remember that in the 80's, I was just a kid, so I had a typical haircut for an average 6-year-old.

And come to think of it, twenty years later, I still do. ;-)

Edgar Alpo said...

I smell a conspiracy. Another post timed to coincide w/ ogg getting home from his looser(tm) w-2 job and take his sweet time doing an epic murst. I call shenanigans.

mursty murstperson said...

Yeah, and I was murst before and now it gets buried in the archives. I call double shenanigans!

Akubi said...

@Edgar,
You got murst as mursty on Cavegirl so itsallgood.
I have a ton of CaveGirl-esque pron I haven't posted. Should I post it on Zillowed as Tanuki?

Edgar Alpo said...

Should I post it on Zillowed as Tanuki?

Sure!

Akubi said...

P.S. I have a copy of Howl personally signed by Ginsberg somewhere. Could I make money on that one?

Akubi said...

Gavin ate my Christian Faith!

NotAnOptimist said...

@Akubi
I refer you to this auction.

Akubi said...

@Notanoptimist,
Wow, I believe I have some other books signed by him somewhere in my piles of junk. Note, however, that there are no bids.

Akubi said...

Hey Casey,
How about using your web skillz to fix and flip web sites for sweet passive income!
Mr. Hermansen, 30, is among the latest wave of entrepreneurs who, like the day traders and real estate investors before them, are looking to make a lot of money without much effort.

Akubi said...

Someone left a link to DotComPreneur™.com in the Fix & Flip comments. The lingo is very Kiyosaki.
On blogging:
4. Leverage On Your Old Articles
5. Leverage On Your Other Content Materials

On podcasting:
Direct Method = Tools to use to monetize your podcast content
Indirect Method = Opportunities that help you monetize your podcast knowledge and skills
Integrated Method = Techniques to monetize your audience by turning them into customers

Founder:
Jill Koenig is the founder of DotComPreneur.com, an online portal dedicated to serving and empowering online business owners and entrepreneurs to realize their full potential.

Anonymous said...

More news for Casey: Turns out that your inertia may be coded right into your genes.

NotAnOptimist said...

My hamster Mandy used to plop her fat arse on the wheel and take a little nap. This infuriated my other hamster, exercise-crazy Britney, to no end; she'd hop all over Mandy trying to shove that immense bulk off the wheel. I suspect Mandy did it mostly to irk Britney; when I got them separate wheels, Mandy was more likely to jog than to nap, even if her jogging was interspersed with many snack breaks. Of course, Britney wouldn't stop running even to pee...

Akubi said...

@Notanoptimist,
That sounds exactly like my dogs.
Mandy = Akubi
Britney = Tanuki

@Edgar,
I finally posted some cavewoman with a big stick pix over at my Zillowed blogs. The whole process is so much more complicated since I hit my Blogger image upload limit.

Casey Serin said...

More news for Casey: Turns out that your inertia may be coded right into your genes.

You know what's really interesting? Every guy's DNA is encoded in their genes -- but conversely, I seem to have every guy's DNA splattered on my jeans. ;-)

wagga said...

How about this fat cat?

My 3 mogs are all around 16 lbs.

At least this princess would stay in the yard - no flying over fences for her!

Edgar Alpo said...

Big dog

Akubi said...

Hey Casey,
Did I mention (on one of the many blogs I’m losing track of) that I saw your doppelganger with a PRlinkBiz at Cost Plus this last weekend? It was quite disturbing. The guy seemed too tall to be you though, but he had the same non-existent ass and hairdo – and the girl didn’t have as much of an extraordinarily enormous open mouth as PRlinkBiz.
Still, it was impressive enough to suggest she was good enough in the BJ department to allow you to momentarily deal with the vayjayjay – in the end, I may require massive focused therapy for even thinking of that.
BTW, all charges were on her card/
You suck (no pun intended) Casey!

Akubi said...

Hey Casey,
Did I mention (on one of the many blogs I’m losing track of )that I saw your doppelganger with a PRlinkBiz at Cost Plus this weekend? It was quite disturbing. The guy seemed too tall to be you though, but he had the same non-existent ass and hairdo – and the girl didn’t have as much of an extraordinarily enormous open mouth as PRlinkBiz.
Stilll, it was impressive enough to suggest she was good enough in the BJ department to allow you to momentarily deal with the vayjayjay – in the end, I may require massive focused therapy for even thinking of that.
BTW, all charges were on her card

Akubi said...

Free place to upload my related mp3s?

Akubi said...

This guy is a serious POS who should spend the rest of his life on Death Row with Dick Cheney.

Akubi said...

After reading articles like this, I really wish I was a guy and not have to worry about an existential crisis in my late thirties.
I really do not know what I want but hate not having an option any longer since the media tells me I'm too old.
I find it slightly sad to close a door on opportunites.

Akubi said...

When my dogs die I plan to blow my brains out. No other reason to continue this farce called life.

Casey Serin said...

When my dogs die I plan to blow my brains out.

Hey, I "blow my brains out" almost every day -- it nets me some spending money and I meet some interesting people, to say the least. I don't like the sore jaw afterwards, though. ;-)

Akubi said...

Not to sound Catholic or anything but God Bless You KC/Benoit!
I also have TMJ/jaw and rosary issues I'm seeing a specialist about prior to blowing my brains out.
Woohoo

Ogg the Caveman said...

@ Akubi:

When my dogs die I plan to blow my brains out.

Please don't.

Edgar Alpo said...

akubi, it sounds like you are depressed. Please don't do anything rash.

From an earlier link: "I think it's just something you can know."

I agree, it is something some can know. Some may have thought wrong. For them, there is the possibility of adoption through various means. Also, I think many women who thought they wanted children were influenced by hormones and not logic. Whatever your situation, don't give up. I like you, and that's rare for me, I hate almost everyone usually. It would be a great loss to the world IMO if you left us.

Akubi said...

Thanks Edgar.
BTW this cracked me up: Millions of Americans have lost their homes in the past year or two, during which time they also have not eaten or driven a motorcar. But until an animal, one whose basic description doubles as a common metaphor for rich people, allowed journalists to write cutesy, ironic and most importantly obvious headlines like, “Fat Cat Is Victim Of Foreclosure,” no one cared.